What a guy wants you can’t buy for Valentine’s Day
Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares four things that, when surveyed, men consistently want for Valentine’s Day.
This month, companies are throwing thousands of suggestions of what your man wants for Valentine’s Day. If you ask most guys what they want, they’ll say nothing. However, men thrive on feeling loved and desired by their partner just like women do. They aren’t always vulnerable or open about it and you may think they simply want more sex, but this isn’t true. Guys also don’t need expensive gifts; in fact, they don’t need you to spend any money at all. Below are four things that, when surveyed, men consistently want for Valentine’s Day.
1. Let him romance you and appreciate his effort. Guys learn early that they should make their loved one feel special on Valentine’s Day and so they typically put effort into their plans. When he puts time into planning a special night, choosing a gift, or sending you a card, be appreciative and tell him you’re grateful. He wants to make the lady in his life happy. Instead of taking over plans or trying to make the night more romantic, let him take the lead and allow yourself to be totally his for the night
2. Tell your man what you love about him. When asked who has the highest expectations for Valentine’s Day, most men will say it’s their wife/girlfriend, and they often feel defeated when it comes to fulfilling their expectations. For Valentine’s Day, tell him what you appreciate and love about him. When you have an opportunity, praise him in front of others. When guys get compared to the kids, they aren’t motivated to spend time with their partner, and they feel disrespected and belittled. He feels more inspired and motivated to become a better partner when his partner appreciates what he does do.
3. Spend quality time with him alone. Guys want their wife to feel the same desire they felt when they were dating. Although going out with friends is great, spending time with just the two of you is the most special. Make "date talk" part of your Valentine plan; get excited about your shared vision for the next five years, where you’ll travel, adventures you want to have together or projects you are going to work on together. Keep the phones off and keep the kids out of your evening conversation.
4. After dinner, bring on the gushy love notes, sparkling wine, and intimacy. Guys reported being the primary initiators of intimacy. They love their partner but feel more loved when their partner takes the lead with initiating intimacy. A wonderful Valentines’ Day is to come home from a date and get into bed with Champagne, note cards, and a pen. Write romantic words to your partner, sip champagne and share intimacy. Intimacy is the greatest form of connection, whether that’s a massage, snuggling under the covers or whatever feels best to the couple. It’s an important and loving way to tell your partner there is no one else you’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with.
Valentine’s Day can seem like another materialistic holiday, but the core of it is an opportunity to show love and affection to the one you care most about. Guys don’t always verbalize what they need or want; make sure you let them know they are your one and only Valentine and you are grateful for their love.
